Divorce in New York can be a complex process, and many people don’t realize the pitfalls, timelines, and hidden rules until it’s too late. Here are the things you wish you knew before starting—so you don’t end up frustrated, surprised, or losing out on what you deserve.  

 1. You Can File for Divorce Online—But That Doesn’t Mean It’s Easy  

 New York has an online divorce system, but it’s not always simple.  

 If you and your spouse disagree on ANYTHING (child custody, property, spousal support), an online divorce won’t work.  

 Mistakes in paperwork can cause delays, rejection, or financial losses.  

 2. You Need to Meet the Residency Requirement  

 Before filing for divorce in New York, you must meet one of these residency rules:  

   You or your spouse lived in New York for at least two years before filing.  

   You and your spouse lived in New York as a married couple and one of you lived there for at least one year before filing.  

   The grounds for divorce happened in New York, and one of you lived in the state for at least one year before filing.  

 3. You Don’t Need FaultBased Grounds  

 New York offers nofault divorce, meaning you don’t need to prove adultery, abuse, or abandonment.  

 Simply stating “irretrievable breakdown of the marriage” for six months is enough.  

 But if you want to speed up financial negotiations, faultbased claims (like cruel treatment) can sometimes be strategic.  

 4. New York State Divorce Procedure can take months, even uncontested, and if disputed, may require a year or more of litigation due to the backlog in New York courts. 

 5. Serving Divorce Papers Must Be Done Correctly  

 You can’t serve your spouse yourself—you must use a third party over 18, like a process server.  

 If your spouse avoids service, you may need a court order for alternative service (like email or newspaper publication).  

 Improper service delays the case or even gets it dismissed.  

 6. Automatic orders, enacted after filing for divorce, prevent marital assets, large loans, life insurance changes, and health insurance removals, potentially leading to legal complications.  

 7. Even Uncontested Divorces Need a Lot of Paperwork  

 You’ll need forms like:  

   Summons & Verified Complaint (to start the case).  

   Affidavit of Defendant (if uncontested).  

   Child Support Worksheet (if kids are involved).  

   Judgment of Divorce (finalized by the judge).  

 Any mistakes can lead to court rejections and delays.  

 8. Mediation Can Save You Thousands  

 If you and your spouse can cooperate, mediation is cheaper, faster, and less stressful than litigation.  

 Many New York counties require mediation before going to trial.  

 Mediation works best for couples without major disputes over children or assets.  

 9. A detailed divorce agreement should cover child custody, support, property division, spousal support, and avoid vague agreements that may lead to postdivorce legal battles.  

 10. Child Custody Favors Stability, Not One Parent Over the Other  

 New York doesn’t automatically favor mothers or fathers—judges rule based on the child’s best interest.  

 Factors considered:  

   Who was the primary caregiver?  

   Is one parent more financially stable?  

   Does either parent have a history of abuse or neglect?  

 11. Your Divorce Isn’t Final Until the Judge Signs It  

 Even if you agree on everything, your divorce isn’t official until the judge signs the Judgment of Divorce.  

 This can take weeks or months depending on court backlogs.  

 You cannot remarry until you receive a signed copy.  

 12. A Bad Divorce Agreement Is Hard to Undo  

 Once your divorce is finalized, changing agreements on property or spousal support is almost impossible.  

 Modifying child support or custody requires a major change in circumstances.  

 Don’t rush into a bad deal just to "get it over with"—you might regret it.  

 13. New York courts use a formula for calculating temporary and New York State Divorce Documents maintenance, considering income differences, marriage length, age, health, and earning potential, with lifetime alimony rare.  

 14. You Must Change Your Name Separately  

 If you want to restore your maiden name, you must include it in the divorce paperwork.  

 Otherwise, you’ll have to file a separate name change case later.  

 15. Creditors Don’t Care About Divorce Agreements  

 If a joint debt (like a mortgage or credit card) is assigned to your ex, but your name is still on it, creditors can still come after you if they don’t pay.  

 Solution? Close joint accounts and refinance debts before finalizing the divorce.  

 Final Thoughts  

Divorce in New York is complicated, timeconsuming, and full of hidden rules. But knowing the process ahead of time can save you from delays, financial mistakes, and legal headaches.  

 File the right paperwork correctly  

 Understand automatic orders and legal timelines  

 Consider mediation to save time and money  

 Don’t rush into a settlement you’ll regret